back in the United States
Although I haven't been very regular on here, I have been regularly journaling and reading, so at least that's good.
I just arrived back in the United States after being done with school and my "vacation." I am almost home. I also just finished rereading "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan which I read for the first time at the beginning of my walk with God. What a convicting punch in the chest. I'm still reeling a bit from the realization that I haven't been working on my relationship with the Holy Spirit in years, really. I have a deep (?) relationship with the Father and Jesus is a good dude but the Holy Spirit is a person in his own respect and I had not been giving him the attention he deserves. In my prayers I ask for the Father to fill me with his Spirit! How foolish! Of course the Spirit is within me but he is not some power, he is a person who is to be there for me and guide me into deeper relationship with him.
That's been the key this whole time.
In my relationships with other humans I had been looking for encouragement and comfort and love and acceptance. I have struggled to find that from God the Father (though I have it). I should have looked to the counselor, the comforter that Jesus promised. Francis Chan said in his book that, given the chance to continue living as we do with the Spirit or to have one day with Jesus, most of us would choose the day with Jesus. Again, how foolish! Jesus promised the Spirit and said it would be BETTER that the Spirit was with us instead of the living God/person of himself. HOW CRAZY! The all-caps is simply because I have labored under this same delusion for so long. How blessed are we to have the Spirit?! I see life in a new way now.
In another way, how much more available are the fruit of the Spirit now that I can accept that I have him within me and that I can confidently move through life with his guidance?! How much more deeply and richly can I live a Spirit-led life once I have simply accepted the fact that he is with me and can confidently ask of him to guide me. It is so freeing! It's CRAZY!
I am so anxious about going home. I'm excited but also scared. I have seen my life slide around off track for so long and I want to make sure I stay on track now. I am trusting God with my anxiety. I know that he loves me and wants to be with me. That's all I need.
Love,
Always,
M
I just arrived back in the United States after being done with school and my "vacation." I am almost home. I also just finished rereading "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan which I read for the first time at the beginning of my walk with God. What a convicting punch in the chest. I'm still reeling a bit from the realization that I haven't been working on my relationship with the Holy Spirit in years, really. I have a deep (?) relationship with the Father and Jesus is a good dude but the Holy Spirit is a person in his own respect and I had not been giving him the attention he deserves. In my prayers I ask for the Father to fill me with his Spirit! How foolish! Of course the Spirit is within me but he is not some power, he is a person who is to be there for me and guide me into deeper relationship with him.
That's been the key this whole time.
In my relationships with other humans I had been looking for encouragement and comfort and love and acceptance. I have struggled to find that from God the Father (though I have it). I should have looked to the counselor, the comforter that Jesus promised. Francis Chan said in his book that, given the chance to continue living as we do with the Spirit or to have one day with Jesus, most of us would choose the day with Jesus. Again, how foolish! Jesus promised the Spirit and said it would be BETTER that the Spirit was with us instead of the living God/person of himself. HOW CRAZY! The all-caps is simply because I have labored under this same delusion for so long. How blessed are we to have the Spirit?! I see life in a new way now.
In another way, how much more available are the fruit of the Spirit now that I can accept that I have him within me and that I can confidently move through life with his guidance?! How much more deeply and richly can I live a Spirit-led life once I have simply accepted the fact that he is with me and can confidently ask of him to guide me. It is so freeing! It's CRAZY!
I am so anxious about going home. I'm excited but also scared. I have seen my life slide around off track for so long and I want to make sure I stay on track now. I am trusting God with my anxiety. I know that he loves me and wants to be with me. That's all I need.
Love,
Always,
M
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