thankful

I'm not really the biggest fan of Thanksgiving.

The food is good, sure, but not my favorite, the tradition of eating dinner at 4 instead of my family's usual 9PM is pretty nice, ok, and my immediate family gathering at my mom's house to hang out for the day is pretty much just how my family usually operates. I don't take much stock in pilgrims and Indians and taking the special day to be thankful (not to thank, but just be thankful) for everything I have. I don't like football or the Macy's Day Parade (I would much rather watch HIMYM with my little brother and sister). I would rather attempt making a bottle of wine than a pie (though making pie is wonderfully fun). While we make the food according to the recipes my great-grandmother has been using for the past 90 years or so, we listen to Christmas music and my brother tries to drown it out with the sound of Cartoon Network.

To say the least, the Cabaniss family is not that invested in the holiday.

I must say though, as I look back on the past few years, at all the hurdles my family has leaped - or, at times, knocked - over, I cannot help but praise God. I am not merely thankful but I GIVE THANKS to the merciful God who allows me to wake up every morning and attempt to bring him glory by the life I lead. That members of my family are still here with me even after the odds were against them, that no amount of crazy is too much for God.

I get hopeless and sad sometimes when I think about my family and how much they need the Lord. There is so much healing needed and so much of that comes from a God that only my mother and I really believe in. Even with all of the doubt and denial I still see Him working, I still see him bringing redemption, the kind my family yearns for and will someday realize that they already have.

I am excited for the future, no matter how much the past saddens me. I'll never really own up to the latter, but it's God's now. I live in freedom now, with nothing hanging over my head but the heavens, free air, and blue sky. I have a blue sky body, as one of my teachers used to say, and in that body all things and dreams are possible through He who strengthens me and without whom I would not be able to get out of bed in the morning.

I love Jesus Christ - I will not go a day without saying it and trying to include it in every action and thought that comes from me. It's not a mantra that calms my soul and it's not an ideology so that my opinions have a solid foundation. It's not just a religion; at this point, it's who i am. It's from the לב, it's my only option. And I'm stoked about it!

Psalm 34

Love,

always,

Meredith