just as everything fell into place...
Dear reader,
I'm not a very good decision-maker. I have discovered this over the years, recognized it, have accepted it, and so on. But I hate it. It makes me feel so inadequate to take forever in making a decision and then to second-guess it.
But there's a difference between being a bad decision-maker and making bad decisions. Often I will overthink the decision I have just made and want to go the other way - but there are some times where I just want to take it all back. That's what I call a Bad Decision.
I wish I could just go back in time to March 17th, 2010 and make the Right Decision (which happened to also be the easier one). But I can't, and I lament that misfortune (if only I was Hermione Granger... I have the hair for it...). Unfortunately, the only way to correct a Bad Decision is to make a Really, Really Painfully Correct Decision and in this case, I'm not so sure how to go about that yet (though I have an inkling). I know what I want and that it's probably the opposite of what I should want... but that doesn't change a thing. And to be honest, I have NO IDEA what God wants and that scares me.
I sometimes wish that the ultimatum was still in place. Is that bad? It made everything so much easier and there was the end result I desired (I think).
And so dear reader, now that I have tip-toed quietly to the precipice of complete vulnerability, I must retreat. Too much drama for one post, I believe. Why does this have to be so difficult? I don't know. But here's what I do know:
1. God is good
2. He has a plan much better than my own
3. All I can do is pray
Perhaps a fast is in my near future, who can tell? I know that I need to soak my life in prayer for sure. Please pray for me, friend, and I will keep you in my prayers as well.
Love,
Meredith
I'm not a very good decision-maker. I have discovered this over the years, recognized it, have accepted it, and so on. But I hate it. It makes me feel so inadequate to take forever in making a decision and then to second-guess it.
But there's a difference between being a bad decision-maker and making bad decisions. Often I will overthink the decision I have just made and want to go the other way - but there are some times where I just want to take it all back. That's what I call a Bad Decision.
I wish I could just go back in time to March 17th, 2010 and make the Right Decision (which happened to also be the easier one). But I can't, and I lament that misfortune (if only I was Hermione Granger... I have the hair for it...). Unfortunately, the only way to correct a Bad Decision is to make a Really, Really Painfully Correct Decision and in this case, I'm not so sure how to go about that yet (though I have an inkling). I know what I want and that it's probably the opposite of what I should want... but that doesn't change a thing. And to be honest, I have NO IDEA what God wants and that scares me.
I sometimes wish that the ultimatum was still in place. Is that bad? It made everything so much easier and there was the end result I desired (I think).
And so dear reader, now that I have tip-toed quietly to the precipice of complete vulnerability, I must retreat. Too much drama for one post, I believe. Why does this have to be so difficult? I don't know. But here's what I do know:
1. God is good
2. He has a plan much better than my own
3. All I can do is pray
Perhaps a fast is in my near future, who can tell? I know that I need to soak my life in prayer for sure. Please pray for me, friend, and I will keep you in my prayers as well.
Love,
Meredith
I agree with the three points. I am also a bad decision-maker, and there are times where I wonder if I made a bad decision. However, I feel sort of lucky because I feel I rarely get put into positions where I have to make a really important decision where I made a bad choice. At the same time, I'm sure that's not a good thing because I feel I have to be put in tough situations to learn from them and grow in my own life. I hope you were able to fix whatever it was you just went through.
ReplyDeleteKenneth, I didn't, but Jesus did. :)
ReplyDelete